Interview With Super Metal band -Headless Pez

Headless Pez - perhaps Portlands most nasty, insane, alcoholic metal band takes time from whacking off to answer these questions.

1. Hey you sickos hows it going? Who am I speaking too?
This be Tha Robbfather

2. How did Headless Pez start? I know everyone is wondering how you got the name, and when you guys formed and stuff?

Number 1, nobody cares where we got our ridiculous name. Number 2, due to ongoing legal action involving the church we cannot comment on how we formed. Number 3, our history involves a lot of shitty drummers, a lot of shitty guitarists and a lot of shitty dicks. All that matters is that you are now talking to the most amazing cockmetal band that you have ever had the pleasure to interview.

3. You have quite the reputation around Portland. How many clubs have you guys been kicked out of? Which ones allow you guys back?

We've been kicked out of all of them. Fuck Portland! We're moving to California where people like having blood and shit thrown at them! Plus, the bitches shave their bushes, I'm sick of choking on piss-soaked, hippy, northwest crotch! Next question.

4. Do you guys prefer a house/basement show or a gig at a venue?

We prefer any show where the promoter gets us drunk. If you don't give us booze, we're not playing! If you give us too much, we're not playing! It's your job figure out where the line is crossed. We're retarded, we can't figure it out on our own.

5. That video of Brooks pouring hot sauce in his eye socket on your page is funny as hell, how did you guys get him to do that?! well besides booze...Booze?

He was completely sober. He had been working up to that moment for months. He started with mild sauce, worked up to wasabi, until, for the entire week before-hand, he took 12 inches of spicy Mexican dick in his eye for hours everyday. All of that preparation was leading up to that legendary video that all of you enjoy so much.

6. Who does manages all your guys stage props and shit? You guys have quite the array of dead babies, dildos, flaming enemas, etc.

Yes we do.

7. Whats your personal favorite album of all time?

Judas Priest-Painkiller, Any ODB, The Crown-Deathraceking, The Accused-Maddest Stories Ever Told, and any Pink, Not in any particular order. I'm better than you, that's why I have more than one favorite.

8. When will you guys put out a CD next?

We've been together for decades and still haven't put out a full length, so don't hold you fuckin' breath. Instead, just buy our 3 song CD for full length CD price.

9. Is there a favorite show/ venue that you guys have thrashed?

Bakersfield. I wanna give a shout out to EatShit. Those kids know how to fuckin' thrash! If your town wasn't so fuckin' hot and didn't smell like wetback dick, we would move there. Like I said before, FUCK PORTLAND!!! The only reason we're still here is to bring this town crumbling down. Then we'll move on to the next. Our war machine is fully fueled with hippy blood, ready to ram purple-headed dog dicks up all the manclams of anyone that dares stand in our way.

10. last words????

I'm gonna shit in your pants.